I ll call you back you said

June 14, 2010 § 2 Comments

– We ll have fun together on weekends at least, my folks won’t mind me spending time doing nohing then!  you said. When we were fourteen. But weekends were busy too. Thats ok I thought. There’s always time to have fun later when we grow up.

-Lets go see that painting exhibition together…- Sorry I can’t. I saw it with my sis…. You should see it though you said. …I saw it alone.

-Lets go for lunch soon. And lets go check out the desserts you tell me about!  I ll call you back ok.. But you never called  …and we never got the time.

-Sometime lets go to a long camping trip together. It ll be fun. I don’t know when but lets go. There’s so many things I want us to do. Treks, paintings, music… Someday.    –…Sure.Lets. I said. There’s always time. If not now then later.

-Lets meet every weekend for basketball, you said. We never did.

-Lets go to Paris some day. you say. … Sure I think… someday…

-Lets plan a whole day together before I go. We ll do everything we wanted to do all these years. We ll explore that bookstore, we’ll play basketball, we’ll play a song together, we’ll go meet sir, go out for lunch, see a meteorite shower, go watch a film. One whole memorable day of fun… you said. and now

“M leaving early.” you said.   -“How early?”  – “In around a week.”   -” A week?? And you are telling me now? And you ‘ll be gone for two years! and later I don’t even know how long…”  “Yes. Had to. Everythings uncertain. So had to go earlier to settle things.”   -“Sure I understand. No problem.” I said. Later.

  There never really was a later was there. There never is. And I realize it now… As kids we thought there’ll be time when we grow up. But growing up took all that time away. It’s the rain perhaps. Makes me feel blue. And then everything else is blue. Especially if you’re planning to leave for a few years after a week. Its easier to leave than stay and watch your best friend leave. M very happy for you… you know that. But I don’t want to say goodbye. I wish you would leave without a goodbye. Coz I will try to fit everything in that little time. The stuff I planned for us to do together. All these years. Or just the fact that we haven’t really spoken heart to heart.. since I don’t know when. I will try to put it in those few moments. And I won’t be able to. And then I will regret. I wish you would just vanish without a goodbye.

And when you come back we can pretend that you never left.


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