July 29, 2010 § 5 Comments
She never said much really. Except when it was clearly necessary. Loved her books. Read them all the time. Talked to my cat fondly. Would suddenly ask something out of the blue. Paid her daily respects to Him, but I suspect she never really believed he existed. An atheist in the closet I was always sure. Followed the rituals religiously. It was just something she had to do… for the sake of doing… something. Always felt glad when anyone made any progress. Never missed a thing that went around the room. Never refused a cup of coffee. And we used to sit in silence at the table enjoying our own coffee mugs and thoughts when the air was cold. And ice cream in hot summers. She wasn’t supposed to have ice creams chocolates or coffee. But that never stopped her. Chocolate ice cream was the best of both worlds. Sometimes I wished I could time travel and go back in her time and look at her when she was a little girl and offer her my ice cream… just to watch her. Lent me her golden pearl ring sometimes… just for the day. To her what was wrong was wrong. Never changed. What was right was right. Never changed. Always preferred being right and reasonable about everything. But then missed out on the fun of being wrong sometimes. Never questioned me ever. Or anyone for that matter. Appreciated the fact that I appreciate her favourite saree. Never hugged me ever. But smiled in amusement when I planted a peck on her cheek. Only person who ever told me I was born to build.. and who never knew how much that meant to me then. You never messed with her. Or took her for granted. You were always glad with whatever little part of her she gave you. And man, she was discreet. Strong willed.. born in the wrong time I always felt. If she were born now… she would have shined like a star. But she was that still… in a way. Just… herself. Unlike anyone I ever knew. No one ever got her… I can’t claim I do either. But I see her reasons. Her logic. Because those are my reasons too in some ways. But then I guess.. I just get it from her.
There are some people in your life you can’t imagine with a past.. with another life before you. You see them from the day you were born or the day you first met them and that’s what they are to you. Seems like their existence began with yours. Like parents, family, some uncles, aunts. Or others in some cases. And they do have a past. Sometimes you know it sometimes you don’t. But those innumerable moments and events together make them what they are… and you can never know everything they did in their lives. Only so much as they choose to reveal. But that is fair enough… because we are all mysterious creatures. Every one of us. She was. You are. I am.