Memories from HAMPI

September 27, 2012 § Leave a comment

Browsing through some old images from Hampi, India…   saw this delightful picture of two kids!

of little girls in pink frocks

September 26, 2012 § Leave a comment

Little girls make the world a better place. They have the innocence you wish never goes away… If you have a daughter, niece, little sister you would know…! I saw this sweet one near new york Reminded me of Norah Jones’ song Seven Years.

The song is called Seven Years and goes something like-

Spinning, laughing, dancing to

Her favorite song
A little girl with nothing wrong
Is all alone

Eyes wide open
Always hoping for the sun
And she’ll sing her song to anyone
That comes along

Fragile as a leaf in autumn
Just fallin’ to the ground
Without a sound

Crooked little smile on her face
Tells a tale of grace
That’s all her own

Spinning, laughing, dancing to her
Favorite song
A little girl with nothing wrong
And she’s all alone

On parenting… contd…

June 4, 2010 § 2 Comments

So what will it be. This or that..? It can never be grey. Always black and white.. simply because you can never know what your child feels about your decisions. It’s impossible to know. So a rich kid will think his parents gave him too much, the poor one thinks they gave him too little; the rebel  will feel they smother him, the meek will think they don’t protect them enough. Too much freedom/too little freedom; too aggressive/too passive; too understanding/too assuming; too bossy/too laid back. So what will it be?

Once I’d gone to Goa… to a beautiful white beach. There was a small family there… A young couple with a baby who had just learned to walk. So every time the dad put the baby on his feet… he would start giggling and run to the sea! The kid obviously loved the big waves and couldn’t get enough of them. Just as he reached the water his dad would laugh and pull him back and come to the shore. It went on for quite a while. That’s the way its supposed to be.. in everything else too.

I love what Gibran says in The Prophet.

“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.”
 
Every one is a product of their environment and their past. So a parent strives to give the child what he/she didn’t get. Their choice is made from what they learn from life and its experiences. It may or may not be what the child needs. Sometimes it can fulfill parts of it. The child blames a parent for something (which everyone does at some point and I’ve heard enough), but then.. they are only doing the best they can. And you never have experience with being parents. So it’s all a process of learning… for both the child and the parent. As long as there’s growth… the relationship will be a rich and fulfilling experience.
 
Thus we concluded there’s no such thing as a perfect parent. But it’s still a beautiful relationship simply based on mutual love and care. But since I am an aunt (yes they also influence your kids all ye unsuspecting parents…) and as I prefer untamed and wild kids, I will do everything in my power to make my niece utterlly bratty and incorrigible!  🙂 

On parenting.

June 4, 2010 § Leave a comment

I have a niece. My cousin’s kid. She’s two years old and sweet enough to eat! I ve watched her grow up from the day she hijacked my room as a baby and now when she’s learning to talk. When she was a baby she was this crazy little fragile thing that didn’t know squat what to touch what not to touch because she didn’t know what would hurt her… so off she would go on adventures exploring  all things heated, sharp, heights and the stuff you keep babies away from. But it was fun… its amazing how we love a helpless and dependent baby with all our hearts! Apple of everyone’s eye… heh. One smile from the little brat and you can melt like ice in a hot oven!

But now when I see her… being very careful even walking… looking around. Doing what she is told…. I wish I can get her out of her self-imposed maturity. Two year old kid. I would rather she be completely wild and uncontrollable! Ahem. Not that anyone else wants that. But as an aunt I have the liberty to have my opinions. But she is not the case in point here… its her mother. She is so completely transformed from being this chilled out laid back young woman to the most responsible, aware, protective parent I ve ever known. AND she doesn’t smother her at all… she’s just there with her arms right there to catch her when she decides to get adventurous. No fussing. Just the right amount of care. And she’s so perfect at it. Amazes me. It seems like she’s already raised ten kids before her! Thats how comfortably she’s handling her parenthood.  

Which gets me to the subject of discussion here… As me and KT were talking bout our respective niece and nephew.. and their parent’s way of raising them.. we started out on parenting. Is there a perfect formula for raising a child? Hmm. Interesting question. As I rue about the fact that I was raised by protective parents (and a protective big bro), who insisted I make secure and practical choices in life and who guided me through everything important; my friend feels her folks gave her too much freedom and she could have done with some more guidance to get to her full potential. So what is it? Should it be a matter of definitive choice of this or that? Or can their really be a practical balance in both these ideas and the rest.

Its dificult. Being a parent. Its probably the toughest job in the world. (if you care i mean.)  contd…

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